How to Answer Your Children's Questions About Adoption

When is the best time to tell a child about the adoption?

There is no absolute right or wrong answer to this question. Many experts suggest that the conversation should start as early as possible, even as young as three years old, in order to reduce distress later in life. 

How much information should be shared about the biological parents?

 This is a very difficult question to answer and varies in every single situation. The best interest of the child should always be considered, in addition to any legal requirements related to the adoption. Generally speaking, as children grow older, they are better able to handle more detail surrounding the circumstances of their adoption. Empowering them with this knowledge, no matter how difficult or painful, may be critical for their own emotional wellbeing.

Reinforce the unconditional love you have for your child.

 Openly express how much you love your child as often as possible. I child can never hear the words "I Love You" too many times. Talking about adoption will inevitably bring about a rollercoaster of emotions that will take time to stabilize for both parent and child. This journey toward acceptance and security will be much easier for a child who knows without a doubt that he or she is loved. Consider giving a child adoption gifts with inspirational words that will remind them of their unique journey toward family.

Encourage adopted children to talk openly and freely whenever they have a thought or question.

 Keep the dialogue open and fluid at all times. This is not to say that the topic of adoption needs to be a part of every conversation or even talked about every day. However, kids will often see or hear things, perhaps on television or at school, that will prompt their need for more information. Even if you, as the parent, are not in the right state of mind to talk about it, remember that the child's emotional needs are of upmost priority.

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