Grief is a complicated emotion that children face the first time they experience the loss of a loved one. This is a new, complicated long-lasting emotional state for kids who are sad about the death of someone special. It may be that a beloved pet has crossed the rainbow bridge or an elderly grandparent passes away. The death of a parent is one of the most devastating experiences for a child that creates a deep void that never goes away. We'd like to share some suggestions that can help guide your conversations and give you some things to consider when helping a young, sad person. Here are some tips to help a child coping with grief.
How to Help a Child Cope with Grief
Reading children's books about characters who have experienced the same emotional journey, especially when a lengthy illness like cancer is involved, is an effective way to facilitate communication with the child. It's important to read a variety of children's books about death since each one offers a unique opportunity and perspective on the subject. Some of these stories deliver optimistic messages of hope. Others focus on the devastating grief a child left behind is experiencing. Concepts of a heaven or afterlife are often introduced, either in religious terms or metaphorically. All of these selections can help in your child's emotional healing. In addition to reading, consider some more ways to help a little one on this emotional journey toward healing.
(1) Encourage your child to express emotions using words.
There are many ways a child's emotions will surface. Crying is the obvious expression of sadness and depression, but it's not uncommon for grief to manifest into defiance, anger, withdrawal, rebellion, and a myriad of other behaviors. You can help by using putting your own emotions into words and encouraging your child to do the same. Keep the words simple and concise- scared, lonely, sad- and offer some new, deeper words (like abandoned, depressed, devastated) that may help young children express themselves. Validate what they are feeling by teaching them vocabulary to describe their emotions.
(2) Give your child the gift of time to heal.
Everyone who has ever experienced grief understands that the healing process is not linear. A child may appear to be coming to terms with the death of a parent could take a sudden emotional downturn. Prepare yourself for a whipsaw of emotional events and give the child grace in working through sadness on his or her own terms.
(3) Talk about your personal faith and religious beliefs.
During times of grief, many people find comfort in embracing their religious or spiritual beliefs. Talking to children about a parent continuing their life in heaven, for example, can make kids feel better. Stories about angels can also help open a conversation about eternal life and bring peace to young children. Many of the topics about afterlife and heaven kids learn in places of worship will be valuable to bring into the conversation.
(4) Engage your child in activities to remember the parent who died.
An important part of the healing process is to do things that will keep memories of a parent alive forever. Encourage the child to make a journal or scrapbook in honor of the parent. Fill it with stories and photographs. Create a memory box and have the child gather special tokens, mementos, notes and other objects that will help them remember the parent.
(5) Find fun things to do that will help a child forget for a little while.
Look for ways to give the child a mental break from their sadness. Take a trip to the beach, go out for a day of shopping, visit an amusement park. Indulge in ice cream for dinner, stay up for late-night movie watching. Toss the rules out the window now and then...and especially when it's a chance to make a child forget about things for a moment in time.
Children's Books About Dying
