The concept of sharing may sound like a fairly straightforward one to address. But in the real world of toddlers, there are so many different situations that fall into this category but don't look exactly the same. And as a result, there is not a "one size fits all" solution to the conflicts that arise.
Tips and Tricks When Toddlers Do Not Share
While the concept of sharing may seem pretty straightforward, there are so many confusing situations that arise from the perspective of toddlers. For example, during lunchtime at daycare, a child in most circumstances is not expected (or supposed) to pass around their snacks from home to others at the table. And yet, during classroom celebrations, treats need to be divided equally amongst all the students. This sounds logical to an adult, but it's not an easy concept for two-year-old tots to grasp. Continue reading for some tips and tricks to help children of all ages learn how to share across different scenarios that can be confusing.
(1) Toddlers will learn through the actions of book characters.
When toddlers are in the middle of their own personal dilemma, emotions can interfere and prevent an acceptable resolution to the situation. They may even resort to physical aggression, as addressed in tales about biting. By reading to kids about characters who struggle, young children can view these situations much more objectively. It's the perfect opportunity for parents to talk to their kids about playing nicely with others in a calm, safe, unemotional environment. The lessons they learn in these books about sharing will carry over into their own experiences with others.
(2) Address physical symptoms, like feeling tired or hungry, that may be affecting the way a child plays with others.
There are very few moments in a toddler's life when they are in a state of equilibrium. There is so much physical and emotional growth packed into ashort period of time that impact just about every aspect of a little one's life. The best thing parents can do to make things easier is to make sure certain very basic needs are being met. First and foremost, it is essential that kids are getting adequate amounts of sleep in their own beds where they aren't disrupted by others. Secondly, make sure tiny tots are receiving the proper nourishment by filling bellies with a balanced diet of healthy foods. Addressing problematic behavior around sharing is nearly impossible when a child is exhausted and hungry.
(3) Have a little chat about sharing outside of social settings.
Talking to children about sharing is instrumental in the learning process. However, In the heat of the moment, it can be nearly impossible to have a little talk about the situation. Instead, choose a moment far removed from an angry outburst when they are better equipped to talk about all the benefits of sharing. By talking through conflict and how to resolve it, kids will learn how to respond appropriately next them they are asked to share or encounter a child who refuses to get along with others. This is also a great opportunity to address other issues like the importance of not taking things that belong to others.
(4) Let kids try to resolve conflict with adult interference.
This is probably one of the most difficult pieces of advice for caregivers to follow, especially when they witness behavior that needs to be corrected. It is hard to resist the temptation to scold a young child who take a toy from someone else who is playing with it. And yet, while mean and unfair, it is a valuable learning experience for all involved. More obvious forms of bullying should absolutely be addressed by an adult, especially when there is an imbalance of power. But keep in mind that children need to learn how to resolve conflict on their own, without constantly relying on a parent or teacher to fix the problem. So take a step back and just watch for awhile. This may be just the space a tiny victim needs to stand up and take back the toy.
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