There are so many events in a child's life, no matter how seemingly insignificant, that are critical in terms of developing into independent, self-assured, and confident individuals. It is the culmination of all of these experiences that prepare them for bigger challenges later on. So even though it may be easier in the moment to let a nervous little one decline an invitation to sleep at a friend's house, this may not be the best tactic in the long run. Perhaps making some preparations ahead of time to give your child a nudge will pay off in terms of building confidence.
Tips For Kids Attending a Slumber Party
So your child has received an invitation to sleep over at a friend's house. Maybe it's a big party or perhaps it's an invite for just your kid to spend the night. Either way, this first overnight adventure is a big moment in a child's life. Some kids handle this event without a second thought and can easily settle down to sleep. For others, the thought of sleeping somewhere other than familiar, cozy bedrooms fills them with anxiety. To help your child prepare for this momentous even, read some of the best children's books about sleepovers. If your child is likely to be more of a worrier, here are some additional tips to help ensure the first overnight adventure is successful.
(1) Don't force a sleepover before your child is ready.
There is no right or wrong age. Some children as young as 3 can handle it, and in other cases, kids may never want to spend the night somewhere else. Some things in life are required, like going to school, so pick your battles wisely.
(2) Practice with a late-over before an entire overnight event.
Have your child pack a bag with all of the usual necessities like a toothbrush, a special stuffed animal or blanket, pajamas, and whatever other items are part of a bedtime routine. You can arrange for a late pick-up, perhaps right before the host is ready to go to sleep. If your child handles this scenario without any difficulty, this is a good sign of sleepover readiness.
(3) Avoid texting your child after you complete the drop off.
It's ok to respond to your child, but do not proactively reach out and ask how things are going. Chances are pretty good that your child is having a great time. Interruptions from you, as tempting as it may be, may spoil the fun and create unnecessary anxiety.
(4) Take your child shopping to pick out something new for the first sleepover.
It may be something as small as travel-sized toothbrush and toothpaste. If you are feeling indulgent, perhaps a new pair of pajamas, a special pillow, or new stuffed animal. It will give your child a sense that this is a special occasion, like the first day of school, and should be celebrated.
(5) Pack ahead of time so your child is not rushing around as you are ready to head out the door.
Missing an important item, like a special blanket, could spoil the entire night. A good idea is to have your child make a list a couple of days in advance, and then check off things as they are packed into a bag. Creating structure and process around packing will give your child a sense of control and minimize the likelihood of forgetting something.
(6) Send some of your child's favorite snacks along in the overnight bag.
Having some comfort food tucked away can give your child a sense of security. But there is another reason why this is a good idea. Kids tend to stay up much later than their normal bedtime when staying at a friend's house. If it's been hours since dinnertime, hunger pangs will likely plague your child. Having a small bag of pretzels, crackers, or other filling snack at their fingertips will help.
(7) Be prepared to pick your child up no matter how late it may be.
The reason could be a legitimate bellyache caused by eating a lot of junk food and staying up way too late. Or, it could simply be that the child is just nervous and not quite ready to spend an entire night away from home. And sometimes there could be a situation that occurs where a child doesn't feel comfortable in the presence of others in the home. This is a good opportunity to talk to your children about good touch, bad touch and body boundaries. Some parents find it helpful to establish a pick-up deadline ahead of time, meaning that a child has up until a specified time to ask for a ride home. Figure out what will work best depending on your schedule and establish some guidelines.
(8) Read books to give your child coping skills.
For instance, children's books about anxiety and worry are stories about characters in a variety of stressful situations. They learn to develop tools and tactics to calm their nerves and face their fears with bravery. Kids who are afraid of sleepovers will learn a thing or two from these books.